Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Father's Ramblings on The Hardest Post and Day of My Life

Today's post, I don't even know where to begin. Today has been a blur, and an eternity all in the same day. You only get once chance to make your statement, but words can't describe the emotions today. I can't put my feelings in words today. I have intended to update the blog as early as 10 am this morning, but here it is at 11 pm and I am just now getting the chance to do so. Between phone calls, friends, doctors, decisions that need to be made quickly that have such a long term lasting impact, you understand why the blog is so late today.

The results of the MRI came back this morning around 8:30 am. It was the result that any parent dreads. "I am sorry but the cancer has relapsed and we believe that nothing further can be done to save your child." Even though you had prepared yourself for the news, you never quite really believe it when you hear it for real. Any treatment at this point will only postpone the outcome, not improve the quality of life, and cause prolonged suffering. How can you even consider continuing?

By noon, after much consultation and an unbelievable conversation with Ryan, we have decided that we will no longer be treating him. We will be managing his pain, and praying for a pain free and peaceful conclusion to a long hard year. Many options, trials, etc. were researched but in the end, the options just were not there. This is something I hope you or anyone you know will never have to go through.

Hopefully tomorrow I will feel more like writing to keep you updated. Though we are totally at peace with our decision, I just can't put into words the feelings of loss and hurt that I am experiencing.
-Brad

80 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ryan and family,

I just heard the news and read the blog. I am so terribly sorry and upset for everything you have had to deal with. Ryan and I were really close friends in high school and I think about him everyday. He has been one of the most amazing friends I could have ever asked for and it breaks my heart to read and hear of such bad news. He and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and I can only hope that things for Ryan will get easier.

I love you Ryan!

Anonymous said...

Ryan and family

I just want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers, as you have been from day one of meeting you all. Ryan you and your family have truely made a lasting impression on many of us who work at childrens. I am going to try and make it up tomorrow sometime while at work to see you and your family. Just want you to know I am praying for you!!!!

Lacy

Anonymous said...

My family will continue to pray for peace and comfort to your family at this time. Ryan is a special young man and a fine example of strength and courage. May you feel Gods love around you now.

Alicia Hall said...

No great words of wisdom - just aching hearts. Sending all of you love and praying for Grace.

- Avalon's family: Alicia, Nick, Aurora, Ambrosia, Avalon, and Anam

Anonymous said...

Ryan, Brad, and family,
Many, many prayers.
May God hold you,support you,carry you.

Amy (Delaney's mom)

Anna Hiser said...

I am praying for all of you.
God has a plan. He knows what is going to happen before it does and the times that are the hardest is then God is more than willing for you to lean on him.

Anonymous said...

Ryan and family,

You are such a wonderful example of what is right and good. You have shown such incredible strength. You are touching so many lives. "For everything there is a season, and a time for very purpose under heaven..." I know it is hard to see it now but there must be a purpose for God's plan - we are praying for all of you!

Dale & Cathy

Anonymous said...

Ryan & Family - God Bless all of you. We are praying that Ryan will have a pain free journey to his heavenly home.

Love from Larry & Janet Burns

Jennifer Bueter said...

Ryan, Brad and Family...our prayers for peace are with you all at this difficult time. I am so thankful that we have been given the chance to meet. With all our love, The Bueter Family

Anonymous said...

Ryan & Family,
God Bless you at this time and help you find strength. We will keep praying.
Donna - relatives of the Malletts.

Anonymous said...

As part of the extended davidson HS family please know that the thoughts and prayers of each student that knows Ryan and each parent is praying for all of you. Although we can't know exactly what all of you are going through our hearts are aching. God be with you all during this time.

hobitgirl said...

You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. The Salmon's have taught us all so much in how to live and fight. That drives each and everyone of us.

John and Cheri

Anonymous said...

Dear Salmon Family,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. If there is 'ANYTHING' you need or we can do please let us know Margaret and Carlos. My heart is breaking for you but I also know that you know God is in control and your family is at peace with the decisions that had to be made for Ryan. He has fought so hard for so long!
God Bless You!
Love, Linda and Al

Anonymous said...

There are no words anyone can write to lessen the pain you are all feeling. Ryan, you are such a strong and brave young man. You have wonderful, loving parents and grandparents. I hope you feel all the love that is coming your way, for many, many people have you and your family in their thoughts and prayers.
The Kern Family

Anonymous said...

Dear Ryan,
We are so very, very sorry and we are thinking and praying for you and your whole family.

Sincerely,
Evan Schroeder and Family

Anonymous said...

Ryan and Family,
Please know that you are in our prayers.

Wayne and Rachel Brigee

Tony said...

Brad and family,
You and your family are simply amazing. I have never seen such great strength, courage and love over this past year. Each time I walked away from a visit or read the blog, I am always amazed at what I have seen or read. You and your family have given Ryan more then he could have ever imagined during this past year. I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through now. But know this, from one father to another...I have the utmost respect you!! The decision you made, the most difficult decision a parent would ever have to make, is the right decision for Ryan. Ryan could not have asked for a better family to watch over him!
As always, you and your family...and especially Ryan are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Tony O.

June said...

Praying for a miracle for Ryan.

Saks Fifth Avenue Columbus said...

Ryan and Family,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you all right now. We are so honored that we got to meet you and maybe play a small role in your lives. The " Black Tie.Blue Jackets" Fashion Show is the highlight of our year for we are able to meet such strong and amazing people. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your journey.
With love,
Annah, Ashleigh & all your friends at Saks Fifth Avenue

Anonymous said...

We are praying for perfect timing, strength, comfort and a Miracle if it is God's will. May God Bless you in your days ahead. You will remain in our prayers!

The Smith Family
Dublin, Ohio

Angie Starbuck said...

To the Salmons family,

You have all touched so many lives in your community. You will probably never know the impact your story has had on many people. Ryan is a beautiful example of strength and courage.

Your family's story has touched my heart, and I pray for peace for you.

May God guide you and provide you comfort and strength during these very trying times.

Angie Starbuck

Anonymous said...

I am really sorry and sad Brad. I am praying for your family and Ryan. Mrinalini

Anonymous said...

Ryan,Brad and Family

Our hearts ache at the latest news and we both pray that with God you find continued strength and peace.

All our love

Jan and Ron Barton

Anonymous said...

Ryan, Brad and Family,

Mom has been keeping us updated on everything going on and just wanted to let you know we are thinking of you and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
Devon & Mike Dobie

Anonymous said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Chris and Emily Johns

Anonymous said...

On behalf of all of the mom's from Hilliard who read your blog daily, we think of Ryan as our own, even though we don't know you. Peace be with you.

Polly said...

Praying for you Ryan along with your family

Anonymous said...

Brad and family,

I am so sorry to hear this news, but know that you have done everything you can to help Ryan fight this. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Molly

Anonymous said...

Ryan and family,

This has been an awesome struggle with so many outcomes we couldn't have expected. I am so proud of him for comnig this far. He is such a strong young man. I've known Ryan for about 12 years now and i'll never forget a day of it. He's an extrodinary boy and will always be with us. You are all in my prayers and I hope he will be at peace finally.

I love you Ryan

Anonymous said...

Ryan's Family,

I am a friend of Trey Martin's "Mammie" and have been following your posts for quite some time. You have been in my prayers and will remain in my prayers. Your son's strength and courage touched my life. It is obvious that he is not and never was a selfish person. His thoughts were always of the other kids. This is a tribute to his family and the love you share.

God Bless

Anonymous said...

Dear Ryan and famil:
I am the Aunt of Adam Gilbert. I did not have the priveledge of knowing you personally but have heard many great things about you. You and your family are in my daily prayers, and I pray for a cure for this terrible disease.
Stay strong,
Kim Pennington

Lisa Hartong said...

My prayers are with you all... many times a day I stop and think about you and your family and pray for you. God be with you.

Anonymous said...

Ryan has been a friend of my daughter's and she has kept our family posted on Ryan's very very difficult struggle. Our hearts and prayers are with your family as you and Ryan share what will be difficult hours and days but we also pray for peace and for blessingsl. God has a plan and he has obviously blessed Ryan with the ability to spread joy and a precious message. May He be with Ryan and all of you in the coming days.

Holly Friend said...

Ryan & Family,

Joe and I are deeply heartbroken for ryan and your family. Ryan is such an amazing young man that is so strong and has so much to live for. Ryan has forsure touched our heart and will always be in our thoughts and prayers. There is and will never be a day I dont think about him. He has helped joe so much though his cancer treatment and has also helped me when Joe was in surgery he help be blieve everything will be alright. He is such a fighter and an unbelieveable man that he has become. Forever in my heart and prayers Ryan we love you!!

Holly & Joe Friend

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if Ryan knows how inspiring he is, and how many people have been touched by him and his strength.

Ryan inspires me everyday, and reminds me what's truly important. God put Ryan on this earth for a purpose, one that he accomplished with amazing strength. He has affected so many lives with grace and joy.

Ryan you truly are a hero to so many!

Allison Coe said...

Ryan and family,
Just so heartbroken over the news. You and your family have been in my family's prayers and of East Side Grace Brethren church all year. My thoughts are with you and you are the strongest family I know.
With love, Allison Coe & family.

Diane Rhymer said...

Ryan, Brad, Susan, Margaret
and Carlos,
Our many thoughts and prayers are
with you all. May God give you
all extra strength and wrap His
loving arms around each of you.
You all were so wonderful to our
beautiful Trey. You are like
family and we love you.
Jim and Diane Rhymer

Anonymous said...

Brad and family,

I wish I had words that could ease your pain. Ryan has such strength and courage and I know you must be so proud of him. Thinking of you and your family constantly.

Kellee

Anonymous said...

Ryan and Family,
We have been following your blog and have been praying for you all since the beginning of this journey. What an amazing young man Ryan is!!
I'm sure he doesn't remember - but he used to sit on my lap at West Broad Nazarene church when he was a little boy and I thought the world of him.
Our prayers are with you all during this time. May God continue to hold you in His hands.
Keith & Marsha Goble

Kelly said...

Ryan and family,
Words just don't describe all the emotions many of us are feeling now after reading that. I have never met you, but have been following your blog now for months. I worked with Brad at QSI and know how loved you are. I know your fight has been hard and long, your courage has helped me in difficult times...you are an inspiration and so many people look up to you. Your life has touched more than you know and I myself am forever grateful for that. My prayers are still with you all and will continue to be. May God bless you and your family- much love to you all.
Kelly Ortman

Ash said...

Ryan and family,

It was so great to hear your voice on the phone today Ryan. Not being in Columbus to see you has been one of the hardest things and I wish so bad that I could be there with you in person to tell you how much you have changed my life. You were there for me through the good and bad times in high school and I will never forget you. You have been a blessing to know and have in my life and I couldnt imagine not knowing you. You light up the room when you walk in and your smile is contagious. I think and pray for you everyday.

Stay strong sweetheart.

I love you Ryan!

Anonymous said...

Ryan and Family,
How strong you have all been though this. We continue to pray and our love is with you. We can not understand how any family can go through this. You are all so special.
Love and Prayers,
Todd Carolyn Simon and Lydia

Anonymous said...

God bless you all and keep you in the palm of his hand.

Jennie Mackanos

Anonymous said...

I just read the blog after checking in on Ryan's progress since I heard the news when he was first diagnosed and I am so sorry for everything your family has had to go through. All I can say is I'm so sorry about everything and your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog and have had updates from Aunt Amy and Uncle Barry...you truly are an amazing young man who has touched my life and many, many others.
"The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ" Philippians 4:7

I will continue to pray for your family.

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you. Praying for Ryan and his family for strength and peace. God Bless

Erin said...

Ryan and family,

I just want you to know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Ryan, you are such a great friend and I cherish all of the time that we have spent together. You have showed so much strength through everything. You will continue to be in my thoughts daily.

Erin Roberts

Anonymous said...

Ryan & Family,

We have not had the opportunity to meet, but I just want you all to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. As proven by the many comments, your fight has touched many people and has changed all of their lives. From the comments before mine, I can see that you all are truely amazing people with strong hearts. God bless you all.

Airielle

Anonymous said...

The love your family has for each other is a true vision of beauty to many. My heart breaks for you and my thoughts are with you.
Kathy @Childrens

Anonymous said...

Ryan, Brad, Barry, and all the Salmons-
I am buddies with Barry and have been following your posts for quite a while now. I am sorry to read Brad's last update on Ryan's fight. I've been there and know how hard this has been for your entire family. But you know what? As hard as it is, you will still find something good in every day. Some days you have to look a little harder, but the good is there just waiting to be found- trust me on that. Reading all of these posts, looks like you probably already know that. 'Refuse to Lose!'... I'd say you all won a long time ago. God Bless.

Greg P.

Anonymous said...

To Ryan, Brad and family,

I have loved and prayed for the family for a very long time. I know that this is one of the hardest things that any parent or grandparent will ever go through. I know that God has been there for you and that he continues to be with you. We know that God is a healing God and that His timing is everything.

Love and prayers

Anonymous said...

Dear Brad and Family

As I have said in previous posts, Doug and I have been following your blog for months. More importantly, we have been praying for you and you family. Your entire family has shown incredible strenghth. We said a special prayer for Ryan today at dinner and hope that all of the prayers being said for your family give you grace and peace. We will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Doug, Mary Beth, Libby and Andrew Headman, Sylvania, Ohio

Doug and Mary Beth Headman

Lori said...

I am so sorry. I wish that I had words of wisdom or comfort. I continue to keep your family in my prayers.

Lori

Cinda Wickersham said...

Hi Ryan,
I am so sad to hear this bad news and I wish there was some way you could lose that cancer.
Thank you for the chance to get to know you. I learned from you to try to enjoy every day.
I love you and hope you know how much everybody loves you. Me and my friends are praying all the time for you.
Love
Lainey Wickersham

Stephanie Caudy said...

Ryan.
I got the pleasure of meeting you and your step-mother when you came to visit Holly while Joe was in surgery in January. I walked out with you and learned alot in that short time. You have so much strength and courage. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Stephanie
a friend of Holly and Joe Friend

Alan said...

Your family and friends are in our hearts and prayers. We are incredibly saddened to hear this news. May G-d watch over you and your family.

Alan and Suzanne Wasserman

dromick said...

Brad, Ryan and family -

I'm deeply saddened to hear the news. I'm praying for Ryan and the family every day.

Anonymous said...

Ryan and family,

I am sorry to hear that your fight is coming to an end. I have been watching you fight and following the updates on this blog. Ryan, it is quite inspiring to see how you have dealt with this. You could have thrown in chips and cashed out a long time ago, but you didn't. You kept pushing forward and fighting the fight, not just for yourself but for everyone attached to you and watching you in the hospital. I hope and pray that when my time comes, I have the spirit you have demonstrated, to handle it in much the same way. I will continue to pray for both you and your family.

Ken McConnell

Anonymous said...

Brad and Susan,

Mona and I thought of you all day today knowing what you are facing right now. You have an incredible network of friends who care for you deeply and who are willing to do whatever they can to help the two of you through this. Don't be afraid to ask and as always our prayers go out to Ryan, you and your family each and every moment.

God Bless - Mona and Pat

Kyle Alfriend said...

Brad-

Your friendship has meant a lot. We have enjoyed getting to know you, Ryan, and your entire family.

We have all lived in fear of this journey. I am so sorry that it before you now.

You and Ryan are always in our thoughts and prayers.

TylerAlfriend.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

ryan has touched my heart completely with his strength and attitude and just his personality. every day we hung out was special to me. hes the strongest person i know and definately my hero. he has made me greatful and realize alot of stuff that most people take for granted you need to cherish. ryan youve been so strong and taken this head on from the start and i couldnt be more proud of you. just last weekend when we went to the hilliard game together i was thinking of how much fun i have with you and how your smile always brightens my day no matter what. youve been there for me since day one even when dealing with your own problems, and i couldnt be more greatful. you are one the best friends i have ever had and i can honestly say i have never been disappointed, upset, or let down by you. brad and family .. i cant even begin to think about what youre going through. you have the strength and hearts of gold just like ryan.. im so glad i got to see ryan and some of you guys tonight. i think about you all every day and continue to pray for you. ryans been so strong and will continue to fight at his best ability like he always has. i love you ryan and just want you to know to never give up, you have so many people around you who love you and are here for you. keep your head up and keep fightin ryry! i love you!

kelsea

Anonymous said...

I have walked in your shoes--hearing the words that nothing else can be done and having to help my child deal with that when I felt like I was dying inside. On the day that I learned that my daughter would die from this horrible disease, she received a card in the mail. She was too ill to open it and I just absently mindedly opened it. Inside was a message, surely sent from God. It has helped me in many ways and I hope it will help you and your son. It read:

"May you find the courage to face tomorrow in the love that surrounds you today."

Surely a message from God. May God watch over you all.

Danica said...

I am so glad I got the chance to meet you and your wonderful grandparents :) I'll be praying for you and so will all of us @ Charles Penzone and Flashes of Hope ! Stay Strong Ryan!

Adam Gilbert and Family said...

Ryan,

You and your family are the strongest people I have ever met. While it was tough to read this post, as no one should ever have to go through the battle you are facing, but after seeing everyone at the hospital yesterday 3/19/09-I realize once again how many lives you have inspired and how many people love you. We remember the great times spent with you. Don't give up hope, we all will always be here for you. Brad and family, you are all in my family's thoughts and prayers. 614/580-8665 if you should need anything.

We love you, Ryan "Miracle" Salmons.

~Adam Gilbert and family

Anonymous said...

I cant but help to think and pray for you guys about every 10 minutes. I am drawn back to your website every hour or so and just cant imagine what you are going through. I pray earnestly that this was all a mistake and a miracle will be made. Ryan is such a great guy and so is his family. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers and my mind constantly and will keep a pray centered around you throughtout the next serveral months. God Bless You all.

AJay Piniewski said...

I've had that day, too. There is nothing for me to say except I know your pain and would do anything to stop it for you. One of us is more than enough. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Ryan & Family,

I hope for peace in your lives as you are entering such a difficult time. You have all meant so much to Trey and our family and we are all devestated at the news. I hope he sends you his strength to help you get through this.

Kim Snyder (Trey's aunt)

Anonymous said...

Ryan-
Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you and your family through this most difficult time. You have been so strong and courageous and we want you to know how proud we are of you! You truely are an inspiration to all who know you. You are always in our thoughts and prayers.

The Cook Family
Jason, Amy, Alexa & Ava

Anonymous said...

Ryan,

You are truly an inspiration to so many people. I am so blessed to have met you in high school and you challenge me to be a better person. I can't imagine going through what you've been through with the strength and courage you have had. You are the strongest person I know and I will never forget that. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Ryan, you are a Hero.

Kelly and Chris said...

Hi, I have read/checked the blog everyday for a few months now. You don't know me, but I stumbled across your blog after following Kristen Schlarman who has osteosarcoma. Ryan was wonderful on tv the other week and such an inspiration. He has made an impact on so many and will continue to have an impact. Prayers are with your family at this time and hope that peace fills your family during this difficult time.

Anonymous said...

Brad and Family,

As a friend you have been in my prayers and thoughts throughout this journey.
I can’t imagine as a father going through this.
I can only read your postings and wish I could do more.
From the outside I could not wish for a better group of people to be on my side as Ryan has had on his.
Our prayers are with you.

Dave Tresa Devin and Derek Townsley

Anonymous said...

Ryan and Family,

We are so sorry and will be praying for you. We love and will miss you.

John, Tammy, Jake and Pete Jarrett

belieber said...

I can't even imagine what you and your family are going through. Ryan, if you get to read this, I love you bud. You are the best friend anybody could ask you for. I wish I could get to see you during this next week. Your text messages are always so uplifting and you're the most selfless, positive person ever. Talking to you during this I never heard you complain ONE SINGLE TIME about everything. That's so admirable. I am praying for you and I hope you look to Jesus during this difficult time.

With love,
Bethany

Anonymous said...

Ryan and Family,

I don't know what to say. You fought so hard and were so brave through all of this. You are such an amazing person. I will be praying for you and your family!

Anonymous said...

may He lift you up on the wings of eagles.

Kim (Kelly) Kembitzky said...

I just read the latest blogs and join the others in expressing how deeply sorry I am for the turn Ryan's cancer has taken. I've been following the blog over the last year and have heard (and seen in Ryan's smile in those awesome pictures) such hope in each one. You are an amazing family and it is clear with every message how much you love your son/nephew. He's an amazing young man. I was one of his math teacher his senior year in HS and really enjoyed his personality and smile every day! I'll be keeping you all close in my thoughts and prayers. Peace be with you all.

Deanna Fouche said...

I heard of your journey through Christians Overcoming Cancer. This organization graciously established a fund named after and in remembrance of my son, Mark Hudson II. I thoroughly understand the life you are experiencing as a parent of a cancer diagnosed child. My sincerest compassion and prayers to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Ryan and family,
There aren't any words that will make the coming days any easier but please know that our family is thinking of you and wishing you strength along every step of the way. I am a cousin of Trey's and a former Davidson teacher so I feel connected to Ryan's story in many ways. Enjoy every moment you have and hopefully you will find peace in all the support that surrounds you.

Valerie Schatzke

Kacia said...

Ryan & family -

Today, I read the news in the Dispatch. My heart is breaking for your family and we are sending our love & prayers. Ryan is an Angel among us.

Kacia Warren (Burns)

Debbie (Stegler) said...

Brad, Ryan and family:

I do not know you Ryan but I know your father from many years of school together...and if you are anything like him... the world has already been blessed. Some of us just found out the very sad news of your story this morning. As I read the article the tears stream down my cheeks.... you see "I too am a parent" and my heart just pounds of heartache right now for you and your family. The bright side I find in this sorrow is: you are spending quality time together as a family and sharing all those special moments that some tend to take for granted. I will keep you and the family in my prayers and may God keep you in his loving arms and ease the pain for ALL... May God smile upon all of you... Your best to dad... from Debbie (Stegler) ... Be strong on this journey...